I had a thought today about the struggle for balance in life. Since becoming a mother in 2013, I have had to brawl with my inner thoughts on how I can be myself while being a mom. Making time for self care while still being the best mother to our boys.
Currently I work full time, then I work some more when I get home. Doing the day to day chores that come along with having a family. I know I am blessed, I have two beautiful healthy toddlers and a supportive husband but that doesn’t mean I can’t feel the unfairness of life.
I refuse to suppress the negative, it comes along with the positive. In order to balance life I have to be aware of all that surrounds me, good and bad.
When I’m not in the presence of my offspring I long for their uncontrollable laughs and obnoxious behavior. Occasionally, when I’m with them I find myself not enjoy the moment or letting the overwhelming desire to be alone invade my being.
If anyone else is exeriencing these feeling know that they do not define you. Being a mother/wife is challenging, rewarding, beautiful, chaotic, and unpredictable.
How can I go out with some friends and not feel guilt about my boys being at home with someone else?
This is one of the thoughts that runs across my brain as one of my gals is texting me to get together. (This isn’t often.) lol. Motherhood is a battle and our toughest opponent is ourselves. F*ck, I know what I need to do but sometimes it so hard. lol I’m sure meditation will help with these racing thoughts but that would be taking time for myself and I don’t want to do that… (sarcasm)
I’ve found, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to release these feelings. Be aware that the emotion is there, do not suppress. The manifestation of negative feelings, taking refuge in your inner core, will only allow for negative outcomes.
Working towards balance, caring for myself, husband, and our kids will always be a challenge but I vow to never give up. Even if it’s once a week do something for myself, even if it’s as meniscual as taking a bath. To continually put forth effort in making my marriage blossom. To strive to be the best form of myself as a mother and wife.